Hello, audience. It's been a while since I've written last. A lot has transpired; much more than I'm willing to post willy-nilly all over the internet. Let's just say that the entire structure of my world has been collapsing at a pretty rapid pace lately, and it has changed things a lot. There has been lots of confusion and hurt going around, and it seems that i'm to blame for a lot of it. But, despite all of that, I still found the time to sit down and read. And the book I read, ladies and gents, is one of my very favorite books.
Can you guess?
| It's this one. |
The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. Close to 700 pages of amazing literature that draws a picture of Rand's philosophy, egoism. Now, before you all freak out and call me an egotist, let me explain what egoism is.
The philosophy revolves around placing the self as the highest thing of value in your life. All of your decisions and choices, everything you do, revolves around what you want for yourself. The idea is that you remain true to yourself and stay in control of your own life by refusing to submit pointlessly to others wants and needs. An egoist does not feel obligated to help someone less fortunate, does not feel obligated to give others things they want, does not feel obligated to give up anything. Unless they want to do so. Everything depends on their personal opinion. If they do not want to give a beggar change, then no one can make them do it. No amount of guilt or sense of duty can make them change their mind. They will not be swayed by the opinions of others, unless they decide for themselves that it is the course they wish to take. Egoism is about freeing your decision making process from other people and taking it upon yourself.
The idea is that people today sell themselves out and try to be who other people want them to be. They spend all their time trying to look fashionable and watch the right movies and say the right things to fit in with the people around them. It's all about being who people want you to be so that they will like you. Public opinion decides who you are and who you'll be in the future. And it makes me sick to think about.
I've have worked for several years now on developing myself as a person, and as an individual, set aside from the public opinion mindset. I am by no means a pariah in this, as plenty of other people strive to do the same. I don't think this makes me special. I just think it makes all of us who choose to live by our own rules much smarter than the rest. Because we don't live to please others. We don't live to make other people feel happy or comfortable or content. We live to make ourselves happy, to do things that please us, that make us feel comfortable or content. And that's all that matters.
The Fountainhead is about a man named Howard Roark, a modern architect in a world that doesn't want to move forward. He is an architect because he loves buildings and designing structures. He designs buildings based not on what will look pretty or please the public, but based on what is the most efficient design for the building. The shape is created by the rooms, and the rooms are created by their purpose. The entire building is shaped and designed to fit a specific purpose, and only to meet that purpose. No added ornamentation or additions that have no actual purpose. He dropped out of school after he failed most of his classes for not completing the requirements of the assignments. He designed the buildings he wanted to rather than the ones the professors wanted him to, simply because he saw no point in it if he hated how they would turn out. Roark is driven completely and totally by his passion for architecture, and nothing else matters to him but what he wants. This is the image of the egoist.
The idea is that people today sell themselves out and try to be who other people want them to be. They spend all their time trying to look fashionable and watch the right movies and say the right things to fit in with the people around them. It's all about being who people want you to be so that they will like you. Public opinion decides who you are and who you'll be in the future. And it makes me sick to think about.
I've have worked for several years now on developing myself as a person, and as an individual, set aside from the public opinion mindset. I am by no means a pariah in this, as plenty of other people strive to do the same. I don't think this makes me special. I just think it makes all of us who choose to live by our own rules much smarter than the rest. Because we don't live to please others. We don't live to make other people feel happy or comfortable or content. We live to make ourselves happy, to do things that please us, that make us feel comfortable or content. And that's all that matters.
The Fountainhead is about a man named Howard Roark, a modern architect in a world that doesn't want to move forward. He is an architect because he loves buildings and designing structures. He designs buildings based not on what will look pretty or please the public, but based on what is the most efficient design for the building. The shape is created by the rooms, and the rooms are created by their purpose. The entire building is shaped and designed to fit a specific purpose, and only to meet that purpose. No added ornamentation or additions that have no actual purpose. He dropped out of school after he failed most of his classes for not completing the requirements of the assignments. He designed the buildings he wanted to rather than the ones the professors wanted him to, simply because he saw no point in it if he hated how they would turn out. Roark is driven completely and totally by his passion for architecture, and nothing else matters to him but what he wants. This is the image of the egoist.
"Do you always have to have a purpose? Do you always have to be so damn serious? Can't you ever do things without reason, just like everybody else? You're so serious, so old. Everything's important with you, everything's great, significant in some way, every minute, even when you keep still. Can't you ever be comfortable--and unimportant?"
"No."
-Peter Keating asking Howard Roark
On the opposite side is Peter Keating, another architect who designs exactly what people want. In fact, his entire purpose in life is to please other people so that they will like him. He wanted to be a painter, but instead, he became an architect in order to please his mother. He sucked up to all of his professors so they would like him, graduated head of his class, and joined a big firm so that he could become famous. Everything he says or does is to please someone else. His entire self is empty, containing only a mirror, because that's what he wants to be. Exactly what you want him to be. He relies on Roark's ability on many occasions, because Peter isn't good enough on his own, and he needs help from someone who is.
Peter is what Rand calls a Second-hander, someone whose lot in life is to feed off of the ability of another. All he knows is how to be a parasite and devour the fruits of someone else's labors. He does everything and anything he can to be liked, because he has no self-esteem. He derives his esteem entirely from what others give him, because without them, he would be nothing.
Roark is the Prime Mover, or the force that creates the world. He is one of many over thousands of years whose sole purpose was to find what they loved in life and to do it to the best of his ability. They are scientists, architects, musicians, industrialists, tradesmen, poets, authors, engineers, people who create things for the sole purpose of having created something. They do it because it brings them pleasure, not because anyone told them to or requires them to.
"I often think that he's the only one of us who's achieved immortality. I don't mean in the sense of fame and I don't mean that he won't die some day. But he's living it. I think he is what the conception really means. You know how people long to be eternal. But they die with every day that passes. When you meet them, they're not what you met last. In any given hour, they kill some part of themselves. They change, they deny, they contradict--and they call it growth. At the end there's nothing left, nothing unreversed or unbetrayed; as if there had never been an entity, only a succession of adjectives fading in and out on an unformed mass. How do they expect a permanence which they have never held for a single moment? But Howard--one can imagine him lasting forever."
Peter is what Rand calls a Second-hander, someone whose lot in life is to feed off of the ability of another. All he knows is how to be a parasite and devour the fruits of someone else's labors. He does everything and anything he can to be liked, because he has no self-esteem. He derives his esteem entirely from what others give him, because without them, he would be nothing.
Roark is the Prime Mover, or the force that creates the world. He is one of many over thousands of years whose sole purpose was to find what they loved in life and to do it to the best of his ability. They are scientists, architects, musicians, industrialists, tradesmen, poets, authors, engineers, people who create things for the sole purpose of having created something. They do it because it brings them pleasure, not because anyone told them to or requires them to.
"I often think that he's the only one of us who's achieved immortality. I don't mean in the sense of fame and I don't mean that he won't die some day. But he's living it. I think he is what the conception really means. You know how people long to be eternal. But they die with every day that passes. When you meet them, they're not what you met last. In any given hour, they kill some part of themselves. They change, they deny, they contradict--and they call it growth. At the end there's nothing left, nothing unreversed or unbetrayed; as if there had never been an entity, only a succession of adjectives fading in and out on an unformed mass. How do they expect a permanence which they have never held for a single moment? But Howard--one can imagine him lasting forever."
-Steven Mallory, about Howard Roark
The Second-handers feed off of the Prime Movers, taking their creations and using them for their own purposes. They can not create anything of their own, so they must take from those who can to survive. Otherwise, they are lost, and their world would end quickly. The Prime Movers are the reason they exist, because without someone to create or produce, the Second-handers wuold starve and die out.
Egoism is about doing what makes you happy, about finding something you really love and sticking to it, no matter what. Throughout the book, Roark faces hardships and trials that test his resolve, but through it all, he never wavers, never falters, and never gives a single inch in the face of adversity. He is solid all the way through to his core, and it is beyond anyone's ability to break him, or to even know where to start trying. And it's not that Roark finds it difficult to stick to what he believes and do what makes him happy. It's just his nature. He can't conceive of a person doing anything but exactly what makes them happy. He doesn't concern himself with impressing people who don't matter or changing himself to make others comfortable. He's completely arrogant, but is completely innocent about it, because he doesn't do it on purpose. It's just the way he is.
Needless to say, I admire the hell out of Howard Roark, and I want to be like him. I want to be so dedicated to what I want from life that no other person on the planet can ever drive me from my course. I want to live for me, to do the things that make me happy, to reach my highest potential in life, and do if for no other reason but that I wanted it. I don't want to live to please others or to meet their expectations. Damn their expectations. If I meet them, then it was by coincidence while on my way to please myself. That kind of passion and dedication would make me unbelievably happy.
Now the downside to all of this is that it's incredibly hard to do in real life. Roark, as a fictional character, was written to be hard and cold all the way through. But in most real people, being hard and cold isn't something that comes naturally, nor is it something most desire. Arrogance and egoism are considered undesirable traits. I'm still confounded as to why wanting to make yourself happy is a bad thing, though the decision to consider everyone else as less important unless determined otherwise by one's own mind is less mysteriously undesirable. It makes some small sense that people are offended when their opinion is not taken into consideration.
The Second-handers feed off of the Prime Movers, taking their creations and using them for their own purposes. They can not create anything of their own, so they must take from those who can to survive. Otherwise, they are lost, and their world would end quickly. The Prime Movers are the reason they exist, because without someone to create or produce, the Second-handers wuold starve and die out.
Egoism is about doing what makes you happy, about finding something you really love and sticking to it, no matter what. Throughout the book, Roark faces hardships and trials that test his resolve, but through it all, he never wavers, never falters, and never gives a single inch in the face of adversity. He is solid all the way through to his core, and it is beyond anyone's ability to break him, or to even know where to start trying. And it's not that Roark finds it difficult to stick to what he believes and do what makes him happy. It's just his nature. He can't conceive of a person doing anything but exactly what makes them happy. He doesn't concern himself with impressing people who don't matter or changing himself to make others comfortable. He's completely arrogant, but is completely innocent about it, because he doesn't do it on purpose. It's just the way he is.
Needless to say, I admire the hell out of Howard Roark, and I want to be like him. I want to be so dedicated to what I want from life that no other person on the planet can ever drive me from my course. I want to live for me, to do the things that make me happy, to reach my highest potential in life, and do if for no other reason but that I wanted it. I don't want to live to please others or to meet their expectations. Damn their expectations. If I meet them, then it was by coincidence while on my way to please myself. That kind of passion and dedication would make me unbelievably happy.
Now the downside to all of this is that it's incredibly hard to do in real life. Roark, as a fictional character, was written to be hard and cold all the way through. But in most real people, being hard and cold isn't something that comes naturally, nor is it something most desire. Arrogance and egoism are considered undesirable traits. I'm still confounded as to why wanting to make yourself happy is a bad thing, though the decision to consider everyone else as less important unless determined otherwise by one's own mind is less mysteriously undesirable. It makes some small sense that people are offended when their opinion is not taken into consideration.
Here's the deal, though: Nine times out of ten, I genuinely do not give a crap what anyone else has to say about what I think or say or do. Those things are my own personal business, and outside opinions have little to nothing to do with it. So I don't apologize for doing things my way or for thinking or saying what I want. It's my right as a human being. I won't tread lightly in order to keep from hurting someone's feelings, and I won't refrain from saying what I think when I deem it appropriate. Within reasonable bounds of common respect, I will hold my tongue. But not every minute of every day. As an INTP, my personality type makes up a very small portion of the population, and I am therefore outnumbered greatly in everyday life. This means that in all but a very select few social situations, I am expected to submit to the way other people would prefer things be done. I have to do things the way others want in order to keep them happy and pleasant. But that's just not how things are going to go.
I'm not going to submit every single time I am faced with another human being so that they can be comfortable. I'm going to continue being who I am and doing exactly whatever I want, and everyone else can get out of the way or get stepped on. It's not exactly a nice or polite way of doing things, but I never said I was either, and I never intended to be.
I'm not going to submit every single time I am faced with another human being so that they can be comfortable. I'm going to continue being who I am and doing exactly whatever I want, and everyone else can get out of the way or get stepped on. It's not exactly a nice or polite way of doing things, but I never said I was either, and I never intended to be.
"Every form has its own meaning. Every man creates his meaning and form and goal. Why is it so important--what others have done? Why does it become sacred by the mere fact of not being your own? Why is anyone and everyone right--so long as it's not yourself? Why does the number of those others take the place of truth? Why is truth made a mere matter of arithmetic--and only of addition at that? Why is everything twisted out of all sense to fit everything else? There must be some reason. I don't know. I've never known it. I'd like to understand."
-Howard Roark
That's about all I have to say for now, audience. The Being Angry portion came without notice at the end of my discussing Ayn Rand's wonderful book because I'm sick of always having to submit and it was time for me to yell about it. If you haven't read The Fountainhead, I recommend it, though only to those mature and understanding of you readers. It tends to be dense at points, and there are some controversial and complex themes running through the whole book that must be read with an open mind in order to be understood fully.
So, until next time, be whoever it is you want to be without question. Good day, audience.
That's about all I have to say for now, audience. The Being Angry portion came without notice at the end of my discussing Ayn Rand's wonderful book because I'm sick of always having to submit and it was time for me to yell about it. If you haven't read The Fountainhead, I recommend it, though only to those mature and understanding of you readers. It tends to be dense at points, and there are some controversial and complex themes running through the whole book that must be read with an open mind in order to be understood fully.
So, until next time, be whoever it is you want to be without question. Good day, audience.
Apologies for the double comment. There was a typo that I couldn't live with.
ReplyDeleteI feel like I ought to link this to my post from a couple weeks ago on essentially the same subject, though without the framework of Ayn Rand. You said essentially what I meant, only more objectively, which is often the case, and more eloquently, which also happens now and again.
As always, very eloquent and inspirational, my old friend. I have not yet read The Fountainhead, but am familiar with the book, and have also seen the movie. In addition, you did a fantastic job of expounding on it's message. For the sake of argument (I love good debate, I don't know about yourself), I have a few qualms with your ideology.
ReplyDeleteWhile it is very true that we are surrounded by a culture which is very much given over to people-pleasers and a lack of integrity, you must understand that this culture is also ridden with a prevalence for doing as one pleases, regardless of how it may hurt others.
Although few have the integrity to stand up for what is right, many have the unction to stand up for what feels nice at any given moment. Drinking, cheap sex, dishonesty, vanity, wasted time, etcetera, are all at least somewhat looked down upon. Yet their prevalence is proof enough that people care more about what feels nice at any given moment, than what other people think, or even what they think of themselves.
You see, I believe that the core problem is not that people are always trying to please others. I believe the problem is that people have so little integrity that they simply do whatever is easiest at the time; whatever feels nice. Often, this results in people trying to please others. But equally as often, it results in people trying to please themselves. Both are empty. Both are problematic.
Colin, I believe that if you live your life pleasing yourself, you will have wasted a valuable life. At the end of your life, you'll be happier than someone who sold out at every opportunity... But you'll still have that tumultuous cry inside that something was missing. A life lived for yourself is no life at all.
What is the answer then? My friend, live your life, not for the satisfaction of others, and not for the satisfaction of yourself. Live your life for Love. I think deep down, we all know that everything else is meaningless. Love is the only thing that will remain, once your bones dry up along with all your accomplishments.
I very much dig your comment, Jordan. Props.
DeleteI appreciate your input, and I'm excited that someone finally took me seriously when I told them to express their opinion about what I've said. I'm even more excited because it's a differing opinion, and you know how much I love a good debate.
DeleteIt's a pretty long read, but it's well worth it for the interesting philosophical viewpoint. The movie doesn't do the book justice, as far as I've been told.
I disagree. Society today is full of people who destroy their bodies with food and alcohol and drugs because they *think* it makes them happy. They aren't truly doing what they want, but escaping because of the pressure of having to appear whole all of the time in front of hundreds of other people who appear to have it all together. People are afraid to admit that they are unhappy, and they do the things they are told will make them happy in an attempt to make their inner self match their outward appearance.
People care so much about what others think that the drive their lives into a pit trying to keep up appearances so they can fit in and meet standards. The real strength comes in freeing yourself from what others think of you and doing what you want.
It's not easy to do what you want in life. It's not ever easy. There are hundreds of thousands of other people and all kinds of unpredictable factors standing between us and our hopes and dreams. Why do you think so many people give up on their dreams and settle for what they can get? It's not easy to stand against that kind of adversity and fight for what you want. Ask anyone who ever stood for a cause they believed in. Martin Luther King Jr., Gandhi, the Apostles. None of them had easy lives.
I don't speak of pleasure in the typical sense of purely sensational and momentary pleasure. I mean a more ambiguous sense of pleasure obtained through being the person one wants to be, being able to be proud of what you have done and the person you are.
If loving and giving to others is what you want to do and it is what makes you feel fulfilled and content and proud of yourself, then you are living for yourself. You are using the gifts and talents and aspects of your own personality that will best benefit others. You are living up to your own potential and giving everything you have to accomplish your goals of helping the lost or broken.
Which sounds easier to you? Living a comfortable life in America with a car and a home and going to a job you hate to put away money for retirement? Or going into a third world country, living in the same poverty as those people, donating your time and you effort to give them assistance, to help them get food and a better place to live, to help them survive? Now ask yourself which would be more rewarding to look back on at the end of your life. Living comfortably and thinking you were happy? Or living and working in an uncomfortable and unfamiliar world doing the thing you most believed in? (Continued..)
(Continued..)
DeleteI'm not talking about choosing earthly pleasures to satisfy your never ending hunger. I'm talking about looking deep inside yourself to find out what it is you believe in, what it is that makes you who you are, whatever dream it is you have for your life, and then setting that as the highest value, pursuing it day after day, fighting through hardship and obstacle and opposition, never giving up until you can say that you've done it, and then being able to rest easy in the fact that you beat out every odd and did what it was you wanted. That you never gave in to the temptation of an easier life, the popular course of action, the common belief system, and that at the end of the day, you lived for what you wanted, for what you believed in.
I can say with a certain surety that any of the men in the bible that died to spread the word of Christ knew the feeling I'm talking about. They had the strength to commit their faith in God and their belief in his son's teachings that they died for them. That's not easy. That's not comfortable. But it's a life to be proud of.
Strength isn't in never being wrong, but in knowing how to admit mistakes and take responsibility for them. Strength isn't in standing all on your own, but in knowing when your own ability fails and being able to ask others for help. Strength isn't in having no flaws, but in recognizing your flaws and learning how to develop your better qualities. Weakness is never admitting mistakes and always blaming someone else. Weakness is refusing to rely on others and then blaming them when you fail and they didn't catch you. Weakness is denying your flaws and living stagnantly and refusing to change or grow.
Do you understand what direction I was trying to push this in now? It's harder to express my full thoughts if I don't have the holes in my words pointed out to me.